and just like that... an epiphany .

i've truly come to realize, everything is a cycle.
push & pull . give and take . back and forth .
i guess i kinda live by newton's laws... every action has an equal & opposite reaction .

there was a episode of the avatar where aang, katara & soka were living with the people of the northern water tribe (in the north pole) .

if you havent seen this episode go see it asap . i feel like cartoons are superbly slept on...
is it because its, "for kids" ? in my opinion there is much wisdom to be gained in movies and cartoons like the avatar and kung fu panda .

i digress... the episode was two parts and the second was always my favorite because i loved how aang went into the avatar state a f***ed up the fire nation ships...
but now its my favorite for another reason... the koi [koy?] fish .
push and pull. they are an eternal circle . they live in an eternal circle .
black and white . good and evil . push and pull .
i'm so calm right now its... scary . i havent felt this way since the first time i talked to maurice at four am.....
but, in the centered state i'd like to think i'm at one... complete in me. with me.
but thats not exactly the point of this...
since everything is an eternal movement of push & pull .
once you gain, you must give . whether intentionally or in/by the will God.
i believe that.

so as i took from one m, i gave to another.
i speak not egotistically, or arrogantly.
but just in a sense of.... knowing.
or wisdom... i'd rather say knowing though...
i don't think i am at a point where i can call myself wise.


maureast,ifeellike...iwasputinyourlifeforareason...
you needed me.althoughialsoinasensegainedfromthisrelationship,
ifeellikeyougotmoreoutofitthanidid.wecameintoeachotherslives
at the most perfect point.
ithink,iknow,ithinkichangedyou.forthebetteratleast.
irememberalongtimeagoitoldyouthatyouexpectedtoomuchbutihopeiwasthatpersonwho'fixed'you.
as i took from that boy, i gave to you. and you'll give to someone else... and the cycle continues.
i hope you find what your looking for.

also, i dont think i'll ever eat fish again. now that i think about them, i think i wont eat them
ever again .

and as i end this charles hamilton-esque post, i hope none of this post comes off as arrogant bc i come from the humblest place, i promise.
peace x love .
ceem